Puns For the Educated

1. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war
with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the
Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate,
he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said,
"I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it." "But I paid a million dinars
for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who
I am? I am the king!" Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star,
makes no difference who you are."

2. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were
avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were
destroyed in a fire, ...and so we'll never know For whom the Tells
bowled.

3. A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor!
I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle
down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

4. Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted
to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for
watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were
so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than
California. This, of course, is the origin of
the expression -- He who has a Tate's is lost!

5. A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the
toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted
as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."

6. An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine
man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin
strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite
off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a
month, the medicine man returned to see how
the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is
ended, but the malady lingers on."

7. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and
found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted
on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely
saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."

8. There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deerskin, one slept
on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin.
All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy.
The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This
just goes to prove that... The squaw of the hippopotamus is equal
to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. (Some of you
may need help with this one.)

9. A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk
remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the
leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of
constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo
looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like
these, you don't need enemas."

10. A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered
dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of
seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out
and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the
road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately,
he was arrested and charged with: Transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

The Dirty Dozen

The kids are in bed.  Lunches are made.  Time to relax.  I was very happy to pick up The Dirty Dozen on Bluray the other day.  I can't believe how cheap it was. It has probably been almost twenty-five years since I saw this movie.  They made good war movies back in the day.  Definitely looking forward to it.

Fantastic Four

The past day has been watching the 1990's cartoon series The Fantastic Four with the kids (mostly the boys).  The animation is not up to today's standards but it has been fun.  Great for people who like superheroes and great for kids.  For the price it is definitely worth it considering you get the whole series in four DVDs.

Spotlight on Gary Habermas

One of the most popular apologists and biblical scholars is Gary Habermas.  He is gifted in taking complex ideas and making them understandable to the average person.  Here are some books that he has written.  You can purchase any of these from Christian Book Distributors from these links.

The Historical Jesus: Ancient Evidence for the Life of Christ By Gary R. Habermas / College Press Publishing Co. Dr Gary Habermas has written a unique and pivotal book designed to influence the way America looks at Christ. He examines archaeological, textual and extra-biblical evidence, and provides a strong foundation for the existence and deity of Jesus. This study will strengthen your faith, and equip you to present a strong case to seeking unbelievers.

Did the Resurrection Happen? A Conversation with Gary Habermas and Antony Flew By Edited by David Baggett / IVP Books Before Anthony Flew, one the world's most prominent atheists, confessed to having been persuaded of the existence of God he debated the Resurrection with Christian philosopher Gary Habermas at Polytechnic State University in San Luis Obispo, California. Although their first public debate, it certainly was not the first time the two had squared off. They have been in conversation for over 20 years, exchanging ideas on the existence of God and the Resurrection. Their public debate, now published as Did the Resurrection Happen: A Conversation with Gary Habermas and Anthony Flew is a rich, intelligent, and exceptionally insightfuldebate between friends who stick to the topic, never pull punches, and yet, never devolve into ad hominem attacks. As J.P. Morelan has noted, this debate is "All meat" and is a "model of civility".

C.S. Lewis as Philosopher: Truth, Goodness, and Beauty By Edited by D.J. Baggett, G.R. Habermas & J.L. Walls / IVP Academic * What were C.S. Lewis's theories on heaven and hell, literature, and the imagination? Or his arguments for Christianity and theodicy? Here are 15 essays that explore three major philosophical themes---truth, goodness, and beauty---from the writings of this noted thinker and Christian apologist. Contributors include Peter Kreeft, Jerry Walls, Gary Habermas, and Victor Reppert. 280 pages, softcover from InterVarsity.

What's Good About Feeling Bad? Finding the Blessing in the Midst of Life's Difficulties By John Thomas & Gary R. Habermas / Tyndale House When you're experiencing difficult times, it's hard to believe that painful circumstances can yield abundant blessings. Authors John Thomas and Gary Habermas have written this book to help you find the purpose in your pain. Offering Scripture, real-life stories and practical insights, they reveal 15 spiritual benefits of suffering and encourage you to allow God to use adversity to remake your soul. If you are hurting - or know someone who is - this book is the roadmap you need to make it through your pain and emerge a stronger, wiser and more complete person than ever before.

The Case for the Resurrection of Jesus By Gary R. Habermas & Michael R. Licona / Kregel Publications The Case for the Resurrection of Jesus, along with an interactive CD, will prepare you to make a compelling argument for the historicity of Christ's resurrection, even to those who do not accept the Bible as divinely inspired. The authors first develop principles by which a historical event can be accepted as true, then apply them to belief in Christ's rising from the dead, and finally offer sample scenarios illustrating the use of these principles.

Why Is God Ignoring Me?: What To Do When It Feels Like He's Giving You the Silent Treatment By Gary R. Habermas / Tyndale House Have you ever cried out to God when you were in trouble and felt like he'd abandoned you? Sharing personal experiences, heartfelt insights, and biblical truth, Habermas asks tough questions, shares wise answers---and reveals where we can find our heavenly Father in the midst of suffering and sorrow. 256 pages, softcover from Tyndale.

The Secret of the Talpiot Tomb: Unraveling the Mystery of the Jesus Family Tomb By Gary R. Habermas / B & H Publishing Group * Responding to the Talpiot hypothesis that a tomb in southeast Jerusalem contained the bones of Jesus, respected apologist Habermas thoroughly examines the controversy---and offers a compelling case for Christ's bodily resurrection. Filled with photographs, diagrams, and documented evidence, his accessible resource counters atheistic claims regarding the truth of Scripture. 96 pages, softcover from B&H.

Praising Kids

I recently read a blog post on parenting that a friend of mine put a link to.  I am going to respond to it, not because I want to tell other parents how to parent but because I find the whole thing very interesting.  You can read the post here.  The basic idea is that parents should not praise their kids.  Praise is too closely connected to what children do as opposed to who they are.  And by praising them you are both building their worth only on what they have done and how they line up with our expectations.  Of course there could be problems if you try to force your children to be mini versions of yourself and only encourage them when they do really good things.  But I really do not see the problem with praising kids.  I see two problems with this concept.

1) People seem to want to separate who a child is from what they do.  Of course a child's worth or a parent's love should not depend on what is done.  But can you really separate actions from identity?  The things our children do reflect who they are.  Not only is it acceptable to praise a child's actions, I think it is important.  Praising a child when they do something good is a teaching opportunity.  Frankly we cannot exist just as a being, we are acting and doing people.  Our job as parents is to help children understand what is appropriate behavior.  Praising good behavior is much more effective than punishing bad behavior.

2) What about the problem of defining a child by our expectations?  This can be a problem taken to the extreme.  However, we exist in community.  Our actions are not just about how they make us feel inside but about how they affect others.  I really do not believe that praising a child will make them unhealthily dependent on seeking other's approval.  In fact, I think it is just as dangerous to raise children who look only to their inner contentment than to how they are affecting their community.

I will confess that part of my opinion comes from my Christian faith (not that I expect all Christians to agree with me).  The Christian faith is based on grace.  But there is also a belief that God responds to the things that we do.  Paul was able to write both “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” (Ephesians 2:8–9 ESV) and “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.” (2 Timothy 4:7–8 ESV).  These two ideas are held in tension.

How do I treat my children?  I praise them when they do good things.  There are lots of "Good job" and "Proud of you" being said around our house.  But we do not withhold encouragement to when they perform to a certain standard.  There is a lot of spontaneous "Love you" that takes place apart from any actions on their part.  Even when we tell them we are proud of them, it is not always because of what they have done (although it is sometimes) but because of who they are and is said spontaneously.  We try to balance them.  Should everyone parent the way I do?  I have no expectation that they do.  I am responsible for only my own family and that is enough.  What I know is that I do not look back on my own childhood and wish that my parents had praised me less.  I will continue to praise my kids and pray that God will bless my feeble efforts and that by the grace of God, they will become who God wants them to be.

Spotlight on Eugene Peterson

I have been reading and very much enjoying Eugene Peterson's The Pastor.  I thought I would provide some links to this book and a few of his others that you might be interested in.  You can purchase them from Christian Book Distributors from these links.

The Pastor By Eugene H. Peterson / Harpercollins Publishing How many clergy and laypeople do you know who count one of Eugene Peterson's titles as a personal favorite? This delightful read---his most revealing book yet---is saturated with "aha" moments of what it means to be both a shepherd and a lover of souls. An engaging blend of candid autobiography, sound theology, and sage advice. 336 pages, hardcover from HarperOne.

The Message, Numbered Edition By NAV Press You spoke, and NavPress listened. They've learned a lot about Bible publishing since the full Bible release of The Message in 2002. They've heard from many loyal readers on what would make The Message better. Verse numbers and a smaller, lighter size are only the beginning. The Message numbered edition has over a dozen newly enhanced features you will love! 9 point text Single-column format Book Introductions Exclusively designed numbering system The Story of the Bible in Five Acts Timeline Books of the Old Testament Organized by General Order of Events Books of the New Testament Organized by General Order of Events Hardcover 6 1/4" x 9 1/2" x 1"

A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society By Eugene H. Peterson / Inter-varsity Press In the Songs of Ascent (Psalms 120-134), Peterson discovers an old Hebrew songbook used by pilgrims on their way up to Jerusalem. He seizes on these verses to teach lessons on discipleship and encouraging us to grow in joy, service, humility, and community. For 20 years Peterson's discipleship classic has been encouraging Christians to persevere. Now this revised edition, featuring the Psalms of Ascents in The Message paraphrase, can do the same for you!

Practice Resurrection: A Conversation on Growing Up in Christ By Eugene H. Peterson / Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co. The fifth and final book in Peterson's best-selling Conversations in Spiritual Theology, discusses Paul's letter to the Ephesian church, urging readers make Christian character to the centerpiece of their lives. New birth in Christ is essential, notes Peterson, yet the American church does not treat Christian growth and the formation of character with equivalent urgency. Practice Resurrection strikes at the heart of healthy Christian formation by using the voice of Scripture to guide us into the fullness of Christian maturity.

Run with the Horses: The Quest for Life at Its Best By Eugene H. Peterson / IVP Books We all long to live life at its best-to fuse freedom and spontaneity with purpose and meaning. Why then do we often lives our lives so humdrum, so unadventuresome, so routine. Or else, so frantic, so full of activity, but still devoid of fulfillment? How do we learn to risk, to trust, to pursue wholeness, and excellence-to run with the horses in the midst of life? In this fresh update of a spiritual classic, Eugene Peterson offers his profound reflections on the life of Jeremiah the prophet, now expressed in the language of The Message and set in a contemporary context through a new preface. In these reflections he helps us ponder anew what it means to be fully and genuinely human. Filled with humor and self-revelation, his writing helps to set the course for us in the quest for life at its best.

Leap Over a Wall By Eugene Peterson / HarperOne Peterson's The Message has made the New Testament clearer for more than one million readers. Now he illuminates the dramatic life of King David to help enrich your Christian walk! Peterson examines 1 & 2 Samuel and Psalms to reveal how David's many sides (betrayed father, sinful adulterer, faithful friend) hold vital growth lessons for your own spiritual journey. 256 pages, softcover from HarperCollins.

Why I Respect the Followers of Harold Camping

It is really easy to mock the current situation of the end of the world that is supposed to happen today.  One of the things that people (including myself) find strange are those people who had very little money but spent what little they had to get the word out that the end was here.  Their thought was that if Jesus was about to appear, might as well spend the money on warning people rather than leaving it in the bank post-rapture.  Rational Christians like myself and see that this is just foolishness.  Why spend your well earned money for what you think God is going to do?  We know that we should be spending our money on iPads and iPhones and on other gadgets and on expensive coffee and anything else that we enjoy for ourselves.  We definitely should not be spending our money on what we think God is about to do in the world.  Should we?

Tomorrow is the Big Day!

May 21, 2011 is the day picked by Harold Camping for the rapture and the beginning of the end of the world that will be finished in October.  You can count down with everyone at his web-site here.  I have quite a few non-Christian friends and so I thought I would take a moment to express what most Christians believe about this.  Most Christians reject Camping's date, not just in particular, but his claim to be able to predict the time of the end.  The Bible is very clear that no one knows the time.  It is very unlikely that the 21st is the day.  Then again, most of us think it isn't the 21st, so maybe that is the most unexpected time... Anyway, no Christian I know has cashed in their savings.  We plan to continue on life as usual.  At the same time, most Christians do believe in a second coming of Jesus and a judgment day and some kind of end to the present order of things.  Just because some people are acting crazy right now, does not mean that there is no kernel of truth.  The sad thing is that Camping's predictions make people mock the actual biblical belief.  The truth is that it will happen, we do not know when it will happen and we have to be ready every single day, while still preparing for the future.

Led Zeppelin

I picked up a couple of CDs the other day.  One of them was Led Zeppelin.  In the past, I have had this album both in record and tape.  This was Led Zeppelin's first album, dating back to 1969.  It was actually recorded and mixed in only nine days.  It is rough and raw and if you listen carefully you can hear some mistakes.  Still, in my opinion it is not only Led Zeppelin's best album, it is one of the best rock albums of all time.  It is a great blend of rock and blues.  Each song is great and worth listening to.  If you are looking for some good rock, Led Zeppelin is the place to go.

Is Bill Maher My Enemy?

Today I posted a video by Bill Maher on Facebook.  The video is found below.



Although I am aware that Bill Maher is critical of conservative Christianity, I posted it with seeming approval.  The responses by my Christian friends ranged from deep outrage to critical concern to enthusiastic support.  Because at least one person was strongly offended, I thought I needed to comment further.

The video is Maher responding to how he perceives evangelical Christians have responded to the death of Osama Bin Laden.  Maher contrasts the perceived rejoicing with the teachings of Jesus and suggests that evangelicals have not been consistent with what Jesus taught.

First I will explain what I liked about this video.  I like how Maher holds Jesus' teachings as something that evangelicals should seek to follow if they want to be taken seriously.  I agree.  He suggests some Christians are not followers of Jesus but fans and that some are simply auditing Christianity.  I agree with this as well.  My experience, both before and since becoming a pastor, is that there is truth in some of what he is saying.  So why were people offended by my posting of this video?

1) Some seem to take this as my regret for Bin Laden's death and supposed support for militant Islam.  It was mentioned by one person that I was welcome to stand with the terrorists.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  While I do not consider every Muslim to be a terrorist or to be seeking world domination, I am concerned about militant Islam and very upset about every terrorist attack.  I am relieved to a degree that Bin Laden is gone, although I have no doubt that others will take his place.  With the news of Bin Laden's death, I have had to balance my natural joy with what I see to be Jesus' teachings.

2) Some have seen my posting as a blanket approval of Bill Maher.  This also is far from the truth.  Maher is critical of evangelical Christianity, sometimes for good reasons but often for silly or intolerant reasons.  I was actually surprised to find him saying something good here.  In no way do I approve everything that Maher has said about religion, politics or anything else.

3) I seem to have misunderstood the deep divide between conservatism and liberalism in the United States.  I did not see that this divide is not just a disagreement about religion or politics but a war of worldviews and that both groups consider each other enemies.  By citing a liberal warrior like Maher, whatever he may have said here, I was betraying my conservative allies.  My Canadian attitudes were sharply contrasted with American evangelical Christian positions and my position was offensive to that group.  The truth is that I am not a conservative evangelical American, I am a moderate evangelical Canadian and I cannot pretend to be anything else.

4) I was told that this was muddled logic that ignored Romans 13 and 1 Timothy.  I do not see the relevance.  The American government chose to carry out this operation and I have no problem with that.  Maher, himself suggests he was in favor of Bin Laden's killing.  The point of this was in how Christians should respond and how much of Jesus' teachings we should allow to influence that.

5) I was also informed that there is biblical support for rejoicing in Bin Laden's death.  ‎"When the righteous prosper, the city rejoices; when the wicked perish, there are shouts of joy." (Proverbs 11:10)  That is a misunderstanding of this passage.  This passage is not saying to make sure you rejoice at the death of the wicked but acknowledging that is the way things are so the wise better make sure they are among the righteous and not the wicked.

I was told that Bill Maher is the enemy of evangelical Christianity.  He may in fact see himself as that, I do not know.  But even so, how should I look at Bill Maher?  Should I hate him?  Should I despise him?    These passages come to mind:

“You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” (Matthew 5:43–45 ESV)  


“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:14–21 ESV)

I do not hate Bill Maher.  I do not like much of what he says about Christianity.  But I also feel that is proper to acknowledge when he says the truth.  God spoke through Balaam's donkey, he is capable of speaking through Bill Maher.

In conclusion, if I have offended my conservative American friends, I am sorry.  It was never my intention.  However, as a naive Canadian I am still not completely sure where the offense is other than misunderstanding the nature of the culture war in your part of the world.  My desire is not to offend but to create conversation and to learn, to learn from liberals, conservatives and everyone in between.

Happy Birthday Emma!

Today is Emma's fourth birthday.  She is a great little girl.  She is our girly girl who loves having her hair done, nails done and wearing pretty dresses.  She loves princesses and fairies.  She loves Amanda's singing but unfortunately hates mine.  We have lots of fun together.  As much she is a girly girl, she is also very physical.  She loves piggy backs and tick-tocks (when I pick her up by her feet and swing her back and forth).  We are so thankful to have Emma in our family.  Happy birthday Emma!

End of the World?

Some people are thinking the end of the world will take place on May 21.  Some people are so sure of it that they have spent their entire savings on getting the message out as you can read here.  This makes me sad in numerous ways.  First of all, the Bible is very clear that there is no way to know when the end will come.  To set a date goes completely against the saying of Jesus that even he did not know when it would happen.  Secondly, the foolishness of these claims makes people discount any thought of a return of Jesus or a judgment.  The second coming is not a minor doctrine but is essential to the New Testament.  People see people like this and totally discount any possibility of truth of a return.  Thirdly, what a waste of money to put it on billboards.  I cannot imagine anyone becoming a follower of Jesus just because they saw a billboard saying the end was coming on May 21.  If I thought the end was about to happen, I would spend the money on ministry that matters such as feeding the hungry and helping the poor.  The fact is that the Bible teaches that Jesus will return and that we need to be ready.  But we should be ready in general and not get caught up in these date setting frenzies that come up from time to time.  On a side note, I wonder how well Robery Fitzpatrick's book will sell after May 21?

 

Happy Mother's Day

One of the things that we can all say is that without our mothers, we would not be the people are today!  This is true for being alive, but ideally we all have a mother in our life that helps shape us into the people we are meant to be.  I am very thankful for my mother.  Unfortunately she passed away two years ago, but she continues to influence me. I remember the lessons that she taught me, the corrections she gave me and the encouragement she strengthened me with.  I am also thankful for Amanda, who is such a great mother to our kids.  We have a complicated family, but she has done a fantastic job of loving and caring for our kids.  To my mom, I miss you.  To Amanda, happy mother's day!

Having the Talk

Many parents dread having "the talk" with their children, that is telling them the facts of life.  My parents never got around to telling me.  I am not sure how I am going to do it (other than by getting Amanda to do it).  Parents talk among themselves about what to say regarding the facts of life.  But what about the other talk?  What about the facts of death?  Should parents sit down with their children and explain that everyone will one day die?  Or should they learn it from television and video games.  I am not sure I have ever heard parents discuss this.  My children have some idea of death as they see me put my suit on once in a while and head out to do a funeral.  But how are parents supposed to talk about death?

The Hiding Place

Corrie ten Boom's The Hiding Place is one of those books that I always see in church libraries.  It is always around but for some reason I never had the urge to read it.  The opportunity finally came up and I listened to it as an audiobook.  I was completely blown away.  What an incredible testimony of faith!  I highly recommend this book.

The Hiding Place By Corrie Ten Boom / Random House, Inc When the Nazis invaded Holland, Corrie ten Boom's quiet life turned into a nightmare. Because she made her home a "hiding place" for Jews, she and her family were sent to a concentration camp. Refusing to despair, Corrie discovered how Jesus can turn loss to glory! This unforgettable story will move you to tears and to joy.

The Hiding Place, DVD By Wesscott Marketing In wartime Holland, the Ten Boom family quietly sheltered Jews in their small house---until Nazis discovered the "hiding place." This is the remarkable true story of Corrie and her sister Betsie's endurance of the death camp, and their sure hope that God alone is our true refuge. Starring Julie Harris, Eileen Heckart, and Arthur O'Connell. 2 hours, 20 minutes. Special Features: Complete Carrie ten Boom's video anthology Scene Selection Cast and Crew Filmography Original Behind-the-scenes footage Photo gallery Languages available: English 5.1, English 2.0, French, German, Portuguese, and Spanish Subtitled Language: English

The Hiding Place - Focus on the Family Radio Theatre audiodrama on CD By Corrie ten Boom / Tyndale Entertainment Corrie ten Boom and her family decided to act on their faith and defy their Nazi oppressors. As they left behind their quiet life as shopkeepers, they entered a world of passwords, narrow escapes and the constant threat of capture. This Focus on the Family Radio Theatre audio drama features an all-star cast, original musical score and sound design recorded at the actual Hiding Place in Holland.